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Poll Only
Am I right to be angry?
Yes 125 (46.5%)
No 116 (43.1%)
Not sure 28 (10.4%)
Total Votes: 269
22 year old guy with 16 year old girl; Am I right to be angry?
Topic Started: Sep 18 2007, 10:55 AM (79,064 Views)
Dewayne2
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Hi. Long time reader, first time poster.

I found this in a fitness forum.

A guy, 22, wants to have sex with a girl who's 16. I'm the dad of a 1 year old daughter. I am worried about her enough as it is, but I cant think of how much I'd worry about this if this was my daughter. I'm angry about this guy doing this, am I right to be angry? What would you do if your daughter was in this situation?

(to make things equal, you can read the 22 year old guys side on his blog, http://www.becomingapua.com/2007/09/06/hav...a-16-year-old/)
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Woody.
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_
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Ohh, a LTRFTP.

Personally, I dont' think it's really wrong. If the girl was happy to have sex with the man, I don't see why it should be stopped.
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Melancholic
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chiralism
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I'm 20 and currently in a relationship of sorts with a 16 year old. I'm sure I'd still like her if I was two years older so I'm going to have to vote "no". :unsure:
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Envirasu
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Hmm, I don't think you should be angry. If it was your child it's understandable to feel a little weird about it; a lot of people still think that teenagers should date people their age, and that's true in some cases. In my opinion, though, as long as both people are the legal age for it, age shouldn't really be a factor in relationships.
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whoelse
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I think a 6 year old age difference isnt such a big deal. If shes happy, then to me its ok.
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Excella
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Midnight Caller
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Not sure. Personally, if I was the teenager or 22 year old, I would be all about the "age doesn't matter" argument, but I can see myself getting a little flustered if it was my own child. :/ Just because it's hard to think of your child as capable of making their own decisions, which I understand without having any of my own.
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Locke
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That one guy
The laws on statutory rape are created in order to have a certain...buffer...in respect to the developing adult. I am not going to imply that there is anyone that can make the presumption that a relationship between a 16 and 22 is anything but genuine. However, I can say that if it is true, they can avoid the urges of their bodies and wait until the younger of the two is legal. A relationship can and should be something more than physical. Especially in the scenario presented above, the older individual should have the presence of mind to realize his responsibility is to respect her age and not press this or even encourage it.
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Lugiatm
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Meh, in my country it'd be legal anyway, so legality aside, I think it's their choice to do what they want.
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.esoteric
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Laffy Taffy Rots Your Teeth
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No you have no right to be angry. 22 and 16 are 6 years apart, it'd be different if say this guy was 32, or 42. Then you could be as pissed as you want. a 6 year difference is not a big deal, and by 16 most girls can decide for themselves who they want to have sex with. Though if it was your child though, I guess you have something of a right to be somewhat angry.
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OcelotJay-ZNR
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I am kitteh, hear me purr. =(^_^)=
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While legally acceptable, I do find it morally questionable. I'm 23 and I can't ever imagine myself with someone that age let alone engaging in sexual activities - but that's me. I wouldn't be against their relationship, as Locke says there's nothing to suggest it's anything but genuine, however even at 16 I still tend to feel someone is a little too young. Biologically, they are ready to have sex - and have been, in fact, for quite some time - but we know biology doesn't always match with their state of mind. Physical, mental and emotional growth are rarely even handed - the former tends to develop quicker than the latter two. This is why I find it morally questionable; I simply don't believe anyone at such a young age is truly ready to take on the full impact of a sexual relationship. It won't kill her, many people are having sex at ridiculously young ages, but I'd say the older of the two would do well to abstain from a sexual relationship for a while. But hey, if it's legal, it's legal.

As for your question: I think it's understandable how you feel. Most parents find their emotions are sparked when they read about children because it raises the inevitable "what if it was mine?" I don't have a daughter but I have niece I've helped to raise and I think if I were in this situation, I'd probably do three things: firstly I'd just talk to her about the impact of sex, it doesn't hurt to reinforce the point that sex is never just sex (especially if it's your first time); secondly I'd talk to her about how she feels and what she wants, it's important not to try and force a child to feel a certain way or do something against their will, it helps to listen; and thirdly, I'd talk about safe sex. If she's going to do it, at the very least I can drill using protection into her head. I'd probably also have to give Mark (my brother) a few tranquillizers. He's very protective and I just know he'd go nuts. :r
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Steve
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patriot
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I personally do not find anything wrong with it providing that the urges are mutual - if both have consented to it, then both should be able to do it. Here in Britain, 16 is a legal age to have intercourse, and as such I think at that age you can be trusted to make up your own mind.
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Ryn
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At 16 they're not capable of making their own decisions. I'd be highly pissed at the guy and upset with the daughter. She's 16 she doesn't know what love is yet. Secondly a lot of guys prey on these girls because of their naivety. I can't speak for all countries, but in America that's something that's looked down upon. I know it's legal in some places but that doesn't make it right. Why is it that they can have sex at 16 with adults but cannot move out until they're 18? I'm sorry but if my daughter wants to do that she'd have to get the hell out of my house.XD
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Steve
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patriot
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Ryn
Sep 19 2007, 07:05 AM
At 16 they're not capable of making their own decisions. I'd be highly pissed at the guy and upset with the daughter. She's 16 she doesn't know what love is yet. Secondly a lot of guys prey on these girls because of their naivety. I can't speak for all countries, but in America that's something that's looked down upon. I know it's legal in some places but that doesn't make it right. Why is it that they can have sex at 16 with adults but cannot move out until they're 18? I'm sorry but if my daughter wants to do that she'd have to get the hell out of my house.XD

In Britain you can move out at the age of 16.

And 16 year olds are perfectly capable of making rational, and reasonable decisions. Just because they haven't experienced as much as perhaps a middle aged adult has does not make them any less capable of making their own decisions.

And you're saying that you'd want to get you're daughter out of your house for acting on urges that are only human - and that the vast majority of us feel?
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Linkman
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it's an illusion.
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I don't see why it should make you angry, it has absolutely nothing to do with you after all. If they're both happy, leave them be.
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.Abstract
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Linkman
Sep 19 2007, 07:31 PM
I don't see why it should make you angry, it has absolutely nothing to do with you after all. If they're both happy, leave them be.

QFT.
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